How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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