I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
