weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dick very happy bro
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
