My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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