she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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