The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!