i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..