ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We were destined to go to rehab together
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
dude. I can hear the air.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
