I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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