Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The air taste purple.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
