dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
