Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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