we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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