halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
