There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
