I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
