It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
