rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize