i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
