I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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