why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
