We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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