Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
