I am puke
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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