Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
