Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
