UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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