Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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