oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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