if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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