I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
