let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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