Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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