Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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