Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
