Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
