did you get engaged???
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
someone owes me an orgasm
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
