you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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