how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
