people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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