I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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