if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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