He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
