I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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