The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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