theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
