Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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