I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize