Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
