Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
