So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
