Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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