when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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