i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
