I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
