Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
