Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
