Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
